It is such a jarring surprise to be moving through life, daring to feel pretty good – about life, your fellow human beings, yourself (gasp!) – and to suddenly be confronted with someone or a situation that completely throws you for a loop, makes you lose your bearings, knocks the smile clean off your face and takes the wind right out of your sails. It can be a rude or abrupt salesperson, an aggressive/abusive driver whose gum line you can assess for periodontal disease due to the proximity of his car grill to your backseat, a little kid who (while you think you are wowing her) loudly declares – to a room full of people – that your breath smells like poop. The crazy thing is that 99% of the time these things wouldn’t even faze you; these are the dragons people slay every day – no big deal. That’s what makes the sting so intense the other 1% of the time when you are caught up short in an unguarded moment – just being yourself.
More disconcerting is when the “roofing nail in the tire” is someone you regard highly – perhaps love – whose positive opinion of you matters to you – maybe too much. What do you do with that sense of being emotionally diminished/demolished/decapitated. It hurts like hell – in the chest – in the gut – in the head – as you try to parse the possible meaning behind the act while you try not to cry in front of that person and anyone else who may have witnessed the takedown.
I’ve got nothing for this one – no pithy list of things to stanch the bleed.
I think I’m just too sensitive.